“Some days are diamonds some days are stones
Sometimes the hard times won’t leave me alone
Sometimes a cold wind blows a chill in my bones
Some days are diamonds some days are stones” ~ John Denver
Don’t we all have days like that sometimes? Life just goes along smoothly until suddenly you can feel overwhelmed by the volume of extra stuff that seems to come out of left field. No matter how good our coping skills are most of the time events can roll over the top of us like a king tide. Occasionally it can even be more than one day, we are struggling to keep our head above water. This article doesn’t pretend to be a magic wand, however, these are a few things that can help.
1. Ask yourself, whose problem is it? Sometimes it’s yours, you aren’t feeling well, you started the day with a conflict with your significant other or family, you’re overtired, not feeling well, you’ve got too much on, or a big project is presenting challenges. In which case you need to call on your big-gun coping strategies. Talk to a friend, mentor, or coach and work out a plan.
2. If it is someone else ask yourself if it is a temporary or an ongoing problem. If it is temporary, then any of the above can apply. Be kind, ask if you can help. See if you can work out the difference between someone being a problem, and someone having a problem. Often it can seem like the former, but it’s really the latter. In which case approach it kindly, talk it over and decide together what might help, because most people have their own stuff happening. If it is an ongoing problem, it might be systemic and require a team approach. If you need to raise it with your team then do it in the spirit of helpfulness and include one or two constructive suggestions. Don’t use it as an opportunity to whinge and whine or back-bite.
3. Write in a journal. It’s just like talking it over with a friend, in this case, one who happens to be you. The very act of writing is a great way of seeing your situation clearly without upsetting someone else, especially if that someone is also involved in the situation. The good thing is that you can destroy it afterwards and you don’t have to feel embarrassed about disclosing your vulnerabilities.
4. Only participate in positive gossip. By that I mean share good news that the subject of discussion would be happy about. Notice when someone does something well and has made a positive contribution. Never say mean things that might hurt, because gossip, good or bad, travels and reflects on you.
5. Use your strengths. Do you know what they are? Go to this website and find out, it’s free, it’s called the VIA Strengths Survey, the VIA stands for Values in Action. Based on your responses you’ll get a list of your five top strengths, the things that energise you and make you feel good. Consciously using one or a combination of your strengths will help you find a solution to your woes.
Treat yourself kindly, just as you would someone you love. So there you are, five coping strategies to help you through your day.
Are you needing help to boost your coping strategies and sail through your day? Contact me for your no-obligation planning call now.